The Mayor
“He’s The Man In Charge ‘Round These Parts”
Aliases:
- The Man
- City Hall
- Uncle Scam
Lambasted by the lamentations of many sonorous songwriters, the Mayor is the (dubiously) elected leader of the town. Openly corrupt, he is a fervent shaker of hands and kisser of babies. Prone to random bouts of extremely public generosity at the cost of the taxpayers, the Mayor has been known to bestow awards and titles (though ultimately meaningless and empty) upon the townsfolk and visitors. One resident is quoted as saying of the Mayor “He’s a snake with a heart of gold.”
Despite the popularity of these public displays of mayoral affection, under the thin veneer of his generosity is a Machiavellian schemer, the depths of which is hard to fathom. His whimsical behaviors and impromptu celebrations have been viewed by some residents as flamboyant and foolish, but make no mistake, everything this man does is a cold and calculated move towards his ultimate plan: filling up a train with so many bags of money and gold coins that it gets weighed down and seizes to the track, where he will rule the town forever from this immovable fortress with a gold-plated iron fist.
While technically limited to his own municipality, the purview of his policies often extend far beyond that of what would normally be appropriate or acceptable (or even legal) from a town mayor. Known to exercise power that would otherwise be delegated to a higher office, this has caused him to be confused by some songwriters as the Governor. The unfortunate reality for the townsfolk in these rural areas is that when one little telegraph wire went down, they were thrown back into the stone age, cut off from the chain of command that would keep the Mayor in check. This led to the town being under de facto Golden Rule: he who has the gold makes the rules!
