Ass Eater’s Contest At The Butthole County Fair
“Nobody Leaves a Loser at the Butthole County Fair!”
Written By:
Performed By:
The Rowdy Rudies (as The Shootin’ Looties)
For Information about attendance:
Lyrics:
Jester’s Requestor:
I come to you, dear listeners, as your humble jester
To bring the gift of laughter, like a tickle-time molester
I really hope you like it, I’d be crazy not to show this
The culmination of my work, my lifetime Magnum Opus
So come and give a listen, grab a seat and bend an ear
There’s nothing I love making more than songs about the rear
Now stay a while and crack a smile, I hope to see you there
‘Cuz nobody leaves a loser at the Butthole County Fair!
Main Song:
one summer day I heard the sound of music in the air
the chatter of the crowds of smiling people everywhere
they told me I should come along and grab the nearest chair
for this crazy competition at the Butthole County Fair
(music)
well it looked just like a rodeo, but much to my surprise
instead of bucking broncos, I could not believe my eyes
it was such a thing of beauty that my heart was almost stopping
a line to the horizon of the finest booties popping
so come and wet your whistle at the funnest place in town
they got booty by the buttload, fine asses all around
if country gal butts drive you nuts I hope to see you there
cuz nobody leaves a loser at the Butthole County Fair
(music)
all them asses just attracted every cowboy in this county
on their horses and their pickup trucks, they’re starting to get rowdy
they ring the bell and lick like hell, you see ’em really go nuts
they say it’s just like trying to lick a little rubber donut
(music)
first up was a rounder, that boy could lick a country mile
so he licked up her whole ass crack, but when she cracked a smile
it betrayed her resting bitch face, cuz she was quite adoring
of the handsome rugged cowboy just a-licking on her O-ring
so come and wet your whistle at the funnest place in town
they got booty by the buttload, fine asses all around
if country gal butts drive you nuts I hope to see you there
cuz nobody leaves a loser at the Butthole County Fair
(music)
next up the contender, the new cowboy in town
he shoved his face right in her butt, he didn’t fool around
so then he licked her ass so good he got her to commit,
and last I heard of them two they were married with ten kids
(music)
now last year’s champ took to the ring, the crowd got so excited
the trick that he had to his lick was that he really liked it
he picked a chick and took a lick, her legs started to spasm
then he won her as he tongued her to a bootyhole orgasm
so come and wet your whistle at the funnest place in town
they got booty by the buttload, fine asses all around
if country gal butts drive you nuts I hope to see you there
cuz nobody leaves a loser at the Butthole County Fair
(music)
well if you don’t approve this certain style of celebrating
your first time it might shock you, cuz you’re too much of a lady
to get your ass ate at the fair, you’re feeling too self conscious
but take my word: it only ever stinks if you don’t wash it
(music)
so ladies keep an open mind, don’t holler when he bugs you
to eat your ass, it only means that fella really loves you
ask any gal who’s tried it cuz they will already know this:
it’s Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
so come and wet your whistle at the funnest place in town
they got booty by the buttload, fine asses all around
if country gal butts drive you nuts I hope to see you there
cuz nobody leaves a loser at the Butthole County Fair
