Don’t Interrupt Me While I’m Pooping Ever Again

“I’ll Teach You Why You Never Get Too Close To A Pooping Man”

Written & Performed by:

Roadapple Ronnie and the Commodes

Lyrics:

I thought I was alone in my happy little home
sitting all alone on my cozy little throne
catching up on the news and texting all my friends
’cause pooping time is sacred when the work day ends

as I was sitting there, heard you running up the stairs
you blasted through the door without a thought or care
that stupid look upon your face as you were standing there
I just can’t bring myself to shit as you smile and stare

well don’t you interrupt me while I’m pooping
keep on knocking but I’ll never let you in
and I swear that the next time will surely be the last time
that you’ll ever catch me pooping, my friend
that you’ll ever catch me pooping again

when you walked right in, it gave me such a shock
inconsiderate and selfish, you didn’t even knock
I could’ve been picking my nose or inspecting my cock
I came in here to shit and think, not sit around and talk

well you barged right in with that stupid little grin
I was halfway through a long turd when the troubles began
you scared me and I clenched it off, I really felt it then
the last half of the log broke off and sucked back in again

you’re just lucky I can’t reach you ’cause otherwise I’d teach you
why you never get too close to a pooping man
no no no never get too close to a pooping man

you might think the worst is over but you’re problems just began
I’m plopped down on this here toilet plotting my revenge
sure as hell won’t forget this, nor can I forgive
make damn sure you regret this day as long as you live

well you might be laughing now but I know just what I’ll do
I’ll bide my time and wait for you to go and take a poop
I’ll pull the fucking wi-fi and turn the lights off too
so you can’t even read labels on the bottles of shampoo

no you’ll never catch me pooping again